


Cruel War

by ani_bester



Category: Invaders (Marvel)
Genre: Father-Son Relationship, Gen, War, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-16
Updated: 2012-11-16
Packaged: 2017-11-18 19:10:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/564310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ani_bester/pseuds/ani_bester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim never gave a second thought about Toro being his partner when they fought gangsters and hoodlums, but now as a battleship takes them closer to the Pacific Front, Jim begins to have his doubts</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cruel War

**Author's Note:**

> Found this lurking in my gdocs folder! Much thanks to Jazzypom, who edited the original draft years ago, and whose help was invaluable. The finale draft had no beta; though, so any typos still here are my own.

Jim sat hunched over a round table and pushed at the maps in front of him. Scanning the disorganized mess, which covered every inch of the aluminum surface, Jim picked up a palm sized black notebook. Some OSS agent had given it to him before he and Toro had been hurried on board the USS Texas. The man had insisted the information within was vital. Jim had disagreed on first look, but perhaps a third look would reveal the intelligence he had yet to find. 

He made himself read through the first few pages, but paid more attention to the mechanical click of the wall clock's second hand than he did the notes in front of him. Closing his eyes, he listened as five seconds ticked away. He took a breath then opened his eyes. The names and dates in the book appeared to blur into one page long smudged line. 

Jim continued to stare at the book until a massive groan cut through the ennui. Three days ago, the groans, dings, and other noises of the battleship had been a continual distraction, but now Jim gave the clamor only a passing sigh as it reverberated though the cabin. After it passed, Jim continued looking at the book, trying to glean something that might help him and Toro tomorrow as they looked for whatever hidden base attacks against the American fleet were being launched from. But he doubted new information had suddenly appeared in the book. 

"I guess we fly blind." He muttered as he tossed the book to the floor. 

Another groan of protesting metal filled the room and in the wake of the silence it left, Jim noticed the absence of a one sound that had become a comfort over the last two years. He looked behind him at the only other piece of furniture in the small cabin, a cot. 

Toro lay on his belly, head turned away from Jim. His legs were sprawled out to either edge and one of his arms hung over the side. His breathing looked even, but Jim knew better.

Tempted for a few seconds to leave Toro in peace, Jim began to reach across the table for a pencil. However, when he closed his eyes, he had a vivid recollection of Toro from the aerial battle this morning. One of the plane's Toro had set fire to had flown close enough for Toro to see the pilot just before the plane exploded. Jim didn't know what Toro had seen, but the dead, wide stare lit up by the explosion hung heavy on his mind.

"You don't fool me, lad," Jim said, scooting the chair a little closer to the cot. "You snore when you're asleep."

Toro stayed quite; he felt like a bag of rocks had settled into his stomach. Reaching out, Jim put his hand on Toro's shoulder and, with a grunt, Toro opened his eyes.

"I was asleep." His voice sounded harsh and when he looked at him, Jim could see Toro's eyes were tinged red. Toro shifted his shoulder, dislodging Jim's hand, then sat up and pulled his knees to his chest.

He didn't turn to look at Jim; he just stared straight ahead. "I woke back up is all."

"Another bad dream?" Jim asked. He stood and took a moment to stretch. Rather than sitting back in his chair though, he went over to the cot and sat on the top edge, close to Toro, but taking care not to touch Toro and risk engaging in what Toro called 'babying'. Only when Toro didn't scoot away or push at him to get him to move did risk resting his hand on Toro's shoulders.

Despite Toro's initial acceptance, Jim held his breath, waiting to have his hand shrugged away. Toro had become more standoffish since they'd gone from a duo to members of the Invaders. Or, more precisely, since Toro had met Bucky. Jim wrinkled his nose, and pushed thoughts of Bucky's taunting to the background. Jim inhaled, and then risked a little more by giving Toro's shoulder a light squeeze. 

Rather than pull away, Toro not only allowed the continued touch; he leaned against Jim, slipping practically into Jim's lap. Watching this rare show of vulnerability, Jim felt an odd tightness in his throat. 

The first time Toro had curled up in his lap had been their third night together. Toro had walked from the bed over to Jim's chair, red wool blanket wrapped around him. He'd looked up, gnawed on his bottom lip a moment, and then climbed into Jim's chair. He'd gripped his new guardian's arm tightly as he whispered he'd dreamed about The Train Crash again. Jim had faltered; he felt a sudden pain in his chest, and his mouth went so dry had hadn't been sure he could speak. But Toro hadn't needed words, just him. Jim had held Toro until morning, watching him as he slept and drawing in his heat when a nightmare triggered his powers. For the first time, Jim hadn't felt lonely during the night.

A shuddering breathe beside him drew Jim's attention to the here and now, and the new nightmares haunting Toro. He reached out and ran his fingers along Toro's cheek, letting his hand heat up until flames licked along Toro's pale face, just as he'd done their first night. It was an affectionate gesture only they could share. Toro shifted so he could look up at the man he'd chosen to call Pappy, allowing Jim to see steam rising in small curls from Toro's red cheeks.

"Toro," Jim whispered. His voice came out tight as he tried to keep his voice calm. However, he couldn't seem to stop himself from wrapping his arms tight around Toro's trembling shoulders.

Toro sniffled and wiped his nose on his arm. "Sorry, Pappy," he mumbled. Toro pushed at Jim's arms and shifted out of Jim's lap to sit beside him. "It was just a bad dream. I'll be fine."

Jim forced himself to loosen his grip and let Toro move away. Toro wiped at his nose a second time, then brought his knees up again, folded his arms over them then hid his face. 

After several painful minutes, Toro leaned against Jim again. "Really, I'll be fine," Toro said with a faint mask of a grin. 

Jim knew better than to say something right now, so he stared at the wall as he rubbed his hand in circles against Toro's back. His gaze was drawn to a small photograph- maybe two inches by four inches- that hung on the wall. The photo got hung in every place Toro stayed more than a few days in, be it a boat, a tent, or an appropriated lodging. Jim still hadn't figured out where it Toro kept the old photo so that it was safe from his flames, though he suspected Bucky may know.

The photo had a crease so deep in the top right corner it had begun to tear there, as well as two intersecting creases showing where it had often been folded into fourths. At some point too, the photo had been exposed to water which had faded and warped the image. The water distortion stopped just short of the smiling blond woman in the forefront. She wore a bright leotard with sequins that reflected the light from the torch she held in one hand. Her other hand rested on Toro's shoulder. He stood just higher than her waist –shorter than Jim had ever seen him – and beamed up at her as he held a burning ball of rags in his hands like another child might hold a baseball. Behind them the big top was being raised by a group of men. Jim focused in on Toro's smile. He looked away, feeling the odd tightness in his throat once again. 

Toro didn't smile like that anymore.

"Pappy?"

Jim looked at Toro.

"What's eating you?" Toro asked.

Jim glanced back at the picture. He had the sudden odd thought that Toro's foster mother was glaring at him, her blue eyes accusing, like eyes he'd seen earlier that day.

"Some of the sailors thought you were a robot like me."

"So?" Toro asked. "I don't mind."

Jim frowned. "When I told them you weren't they, they were upset. They wanted to know how I could take a kid into war. Some were…. less polite."

"Ah, let 'em gripe" Toro answered. “We’re a team.”

Jim squeezed Toro’s shoulder. "They thought I didn't care about you. Because- because I keep risking your life." 

As he looked down at Toro and saw Toro watching him, an ache Jim that he couldn’t name spread through him. He glanced back at the photo, looked at Toro standing there with fire in his hands. Jim had been so thrilled at finding he was no longer one of a kind, so thrilled to have some of his loneliness eased, that he'd taken Toro everywhere with him. Even into _war_. But, Toro wasn’t a partner, or some comfort item to be carried all over creation. He was a child, a trusting child with foster parents who had but Toro into his care with the expectation that Jim would watch over Toro like he was Jim's own son. 

And instead Jim had taken him into this hell. 

What kind of parent dragged their own child into a war? 

"An awful one," Jim whispered.

"Awful what, Pappy?" Toro asked, raising his head again. He rubbed at his cheeks with the back of his hand even though his tears were gone.  
Jim shook his head, "Nothing, Toro, just thinking out loud." He ignored Toro's searching look and smiled at him. "You'd rather be at home wouldn't you?" Jim said as he ruffled Toro's hair.

That gesture finally caused Toro to duck away, but the faint smile on his face told Jim that he hadn't really minded.

"You reading my mind now?" Toro asked. His tone was lighter now, and reminded Jim of when they'd talked about math problems, people Jim met as a patrol officer, what to have have for dinner, and other day to day things. 

"I'd just been thinking that it'd be about time to break down the big top and load the trains to move south before it got too cold. It was always a lot of work, but fun too. I think you'd have liked to be around for all that hustle and bustle." 

Toro smiled fondly up at Jim, but Jim looked away. He'd asked Toro about home and Toro's first thoughts were of the circus. 

"Bucky thinks he's so amazing with all his special military training." Toro boasted, looking at the photo and away from Jim. "But he can't work out how come I slough a campsite faster them him."

"You miss the circus?" Jim asked softly.

Toro nodded without hesitation, "It'd be nice to see Pops again, and introduce you to everyone, Pappy. I don't think you met most people either time you were there." Jim watched some twinkle return to Toro's eyes. The next sentence was spoken in the circus cant Jim had heard Toro whisper to his mother. For a second Jim couldn't help but smile. The language was secret and not meant for outsiders. 

However, the euphoria of acceptance wore off as he struggled for minutes to decipher what Toro had said. 

"Meahzaybe," Jim responded after the prolonged pause. Though vague, the answer still drew a smile from Toro. 

"Not bad," Toro laughed. "For one word. Maybe by the time we get home, you'll just about pass muster."

Jim closed his eyes, once again unable to face Toro. "And, hopefully, by the time I get home, you'll have convinced everyone it's okay for an outsider like me to understand."

He heard Toro make an exasperated sound. "You’re my Pappy, it'll be fine." There came a pause right before Jim felt a tug at his arm. "Pappy, why would I talk to anyone before you?" 

Jim kept his eyes shut.

"I think . . . I think I should send you home, Tom."

For a moment, the only sound heard was the moaning of the ship.

"'Wait, what? Send me back?" Toro shouted in alarm, causing his voice to hit an octave it hadn't reached in weeks. Jim felt fire against his skin when Toro pushed him away and scrambled off the cot.

"What the hell did I do?" 

A new wave of guilt surged through Jim when he looked up and saw Toro's bottom lip quivering.

"Geezus Pappy, if I've been in the way tell me; I'll get better. I promise I will! But- but don't send me home!" Toro balled his hands into fiery fists, his eyes closed and jaw clenched as he struggled to clam himself, but still the flames climbed up Toro's arms. Jim grabbed Toro by his forearms and drew the flames into himself. Toro didn't try to pull out of Jim's grip. Instead a hung his head and stood where he was. 

"Please," Toro said looking back up at Jim. "Please let me stay." 

"You did nothing wrong," Jim soothed, pulling Toro's trembling hands against his chest. "Nothing Toro. You've done very well."

"Then why this talk of sending me home." Toro lifted his chin and pulled his hands from Jim's grip so he could fold his arms tightly in front of his chest.

Jim knew Toro wanted to appear older and sterner, but the adult pose only underscored his youth.

"You're so young," Jim said in the same voice he used to sooth Toro when Toro had nightmares. "You shouldn't be here, involved in this. You should be back home with the circus or in school."

Toro gave Jim a glare full of adolescent stubbornness and infallibility and pulled his hands from Jim's grip,

"I'm fine! Geezues, what is it with everyone. Thirteen months younger than Bucky, and I'm the one too young for war, but it's all fine and dandy that he's here?"

Jim opened his mouth but Toro cut him off with a slice of his hand. "And if you mention his training, I swear to god above I'll explode, Pappy."

Jim paused and took a deep breath. "Neither of you should be killing anyone at your age, but Bucky is not my responsibility. You are."

"Yeah well okay, send that telegram to the Axis!" Toro said, proving his mastery of what Steve dubbed an 'insolent' tone. "You think they did an age check on people when they invade France and China and everywhere else? What'd they say 'oh lucky for you, kid, you're just 17, so we'll just pass you on by and go shoot someone older'?" 

"But you aren't in that position," Jim said, "You don't need to-"

"Yes I do!" Toro shouted, grabbing Jim's hand. "Yes I do I have to stay, or the Nazi's, they'll end up in America and then it won't just be me and Bucky and whoever else snuck into the army, it'll be everyone, kids way younger than me and girls too!"

Jim struggled for a moment, trying to keep a proud smile from undermining his position. "Toro," he said, reaching up to push Toro's bangs from his face, "that's admirable, but I don't think you'll make the difference between winning and loosing this war."

Toro glowered, swatting Jim's hand away. Jim braced himself for a play by play of every enemy craft Toro had defeated and every advance Toro had helped to slow. 

"Why should I be the only one to go home just 'cause I'm young and I miss home?" Toro demanded, cheeks reddening. 

Jim blinked and leaned back as he tried to follow the unexpected direction Toro had gone in this argument. 

"You think nobody else on this ship misses their home? One of the sergeants just got news that he's a daddy. Shouldn’t he have more right to go home than me? He's got a wife and a baby dependent on him! But it's better for him to be here just 'cause he's twenty five?" Toro paused a moment squeezing his eyes shut and clenching his fists tight. 

"Or . . . or that officer, Miller, who is missing his son's first birthday in a few days?" Toro continued after a few deep breaths. "But hey, he's nineteen, so no one worries about him missing home, right? Or what about the kid who found out his mother's dying? You know how much older than me he is? Eight months! He's younger then Bucky! But you're gonna work out how to send me home and not him?"

Jim put a hand on Toro's shoulder to stop the boy's tirade. "Lad, as I said, I'm only responsible for you. I can only help you. I should never have brought you into this war in the first place."

Toro pulled away again and stomped across the room. "This isn't fair!" he yelled. He clenched his hands into fists and fire ignited around them. "You just asked if I wanted to be home! Of course I would rather be home. Who in their right mind wouldn't?" Jim saw Toro's flames begin to spread. "I didn't know you'd send me back if I said yes!"

Toro looked at Jim from across the room and when Jim met those pleading eyes, he saw the blue fading into white hot flames.

Jim jumped up from the cot and rushed to Toro. He grabbed Toro by the arm and dragged him again his chest, enfolding him in his arms seconds before flames erupted from Toro's entire body. For the second time that night, Jim drew Toro's flames into himself. 

"'Sides," Toro said, his voice muffled against Jim's chest, "if you send me back I'll just enlist for real. If I say I'm a carny and don't have a birth certificate, but swear I'm old enough, no one's gonna question my age."

Jim bit done the urge to point out how young Toro looked and how small a chance he had of convincing anyone he was eighteen. But poking at such a sore spot would only escalate the situation and give Toro more to argue against. Instead, Jim lifted Toro into his arms. He ignored Toro's shouts of protest and carried him back to the cot. Sitting down, he positioned Toro in his lap and held on until Toro stopped struggling and his efforts to break free dwindled to an angry glare and indignant huffing.

"I don't want to send you away, Thomas," Jim explained. "But, even more, I don't want you to get hurt, or see you upset and afraid."

He expected another angry outburst, and perhaps renewed struggles while Toro denied any such feelings. However, Toro folded his hands in his lap and leaned against Jim, accepting Jim's hold around him. 

"You think sending me home will keep me from being afraid?" he asked anger still adding a bite to his tone. "I'd be afraid for you all the time, Pappy. I'd be sick with from being afraid. And you don't know I'll be safe at home. How many times at home did someone try and kidnap me or hurt me?" 

Toro squirmed in Jim's lap and now Jim let him go. But rather than moving away, Toro turned around so he could look Jim in the eyes. "Pappy, what I can do, ok sure, I probably won't end the war by myself, but I do make a difference. I do save lives, and together we've ended battles maybe days sooner than they otherwise would have. How can you ask me to just sit at home and worry that you'll never come back, all while knowing I have powers like no one else and could be saving people where it mattered?"

"I . . ." Jim paused and reached over to place his hand on Toro's head. "If you get killed because I brought you here, I couldn't bare it."

Toro looked up Jim, his expression solemn. "I'm not any happier about the idea of you getting killed. Or Bucky, or Steve, heck not even Namor. But since we can't all be safe, I'd rather take the risks and be with you than be back home."

Jim rubbed his forehead with his free hand. "I'm your parent, I should protect you."

"Then protect me, Pappy," Toro said, clinging tighter, "but not by sending me away."

"And if I can't protect you?" Jim asked in a hushed voice.

"And if I can't protect you?" Toro shot back blue eyes glinting with the challenge his voice was too wary to convey.

Jim smiled and hugged Toro against him. "Protecting me is not your job, lad." Jim made a last feeble attempt to win the argument he already knew he'd lost. 

"Sez you," Toro grumbled, looking up and scowling at his Pappy. "I've already done it lots. Namor'll back me on that!"

Jim snorted but couldn't deny Toro's claim. 

"Get some sleep then, Toro. We'll be in hostile waters by noon tomorrow, and the reconnaissance we got is pretty shoddy, so I'll want you watching the skies."

Toro grinned so widely that Jim figured he had to be the happiest person to get a military assignment in the history of any war ever.

"Yes sir!" Toro said, lying down on the cot without protest. Jim crossed his arms and grinned at Toro, watching him pull the rough blanket up to his chin and close his eyes. Jim's lips twitched at the advantage presented to him. Bending down, he gave Toro a quick kiss on the forehead. 

"Pappy!" Toro groaned, pushing him away. 

"Night, Toro," Jim laughed, as he sat on the chair that had been moved beside the cot. 

"G'night,' Toro yawned. 

Settling back into the chair, Jim watched Toro and let the moment push away his lingering guilt. After a few minutes he rolled over onto his side, and seconds after that, he was breathing heavily and snoring away. 

Jim stretched and then resettled into the chair. After a moment, he lowered his own energy use and closed his eyes. 

-End


End file.
